A Continuing Story

Sustainability

2012-01-27T14:47:00.001-08:00

It's big. Real big. More on that soon.

Speak Out

2012-01-12T21:18:00.000-08:00

There are things to debate here, yes. But, I think his message is good. And I see it as a good challenge, especially as a leader within the Church. Thank you for the concern, my friend.

I will say I like things like this. I like it when people use strong words to make a point. Yes, we can over analyze something like this. Yes, we can comb it with a microscope. But, this gentlemen is being heard by a lot of people who shake their head in agreement. Our concern shouldn't be what's said, our concern should be the agreement. And if this is what people actually think about the church, instead of get defensive about it, we should take action.

Fresh Breathing

2012-01-11T23:00:00.001-08:00

Some of the best moments of life can return from our memory reservoir through simple action.

Tonight, the stars gave a clear "Hello" as the temperature plummeted and the moon rose with class and stock. Eben was begging for a walk, so we stepped into the cold with audacity: we would defy the winters bone.

It was here, this moment, that Michigan returned in all her splendor. You see, on the coldest nights of winter in Michigan, not a cloud is in the sky and the moon provides secondary lighting bright enough for an evening stroll. And if your brave enough to face the cold, the snow will crunch under your feet with a furry unexplainable and sacred. As you wander into the wilderness, the friends you meet, exposed by the free flashlight, will share silently a piece of their freedom and space. They will flee, carrying the burden of loosing their family to a brutal and ruthless food chain we've titled "hunting".

You are a stranger in their home.

Your shadow is clear and keeps step with you, sharing your company, remaining the true foreigner that won't come home with you. Each deep breath fills your lungs with crystal, almost painful, yet refreshingly elegant. From a distance, your easily mistaken for a smoker and attempt rings in the moment of opportunity.

It was this memory that flooded the gates tonight. This memory is precious and delicate to me, and so many others like it. Words can't validate their being, but the fresh air is a plus.

Inspiration

2012-01-02T21:12:00.000-08:00

There's reasoning behind why this man is so influential to a person like myself. And this video is delicate in explaining the how.why behind that.

Silence

2012-01-02T16:57:00.001-08:00

It seems that a lot of what I have been reading lately has been speaking about silence, space, and solitude.

Talking about it is one thing, but doing it is another. Thankfully, I have a great geographical location to choose from. Here's a glimpse of my options.

Reminisce

2011-12-14T22:09:00.001-08:00

I see my grandfather walking between shoveled mounds of snow, moving slowly beneath the load of life. He is a block away from where I stand at an office window, and I can still see his lips moving, unable to swallow back the hymns and prayers within him. This is my ancestor, father to my father, an old jug, crack and spilling warmth along his path.

- N.D. Wilson

Christmas Reflection

2011-12-13T16:44:00.001-08:00

Our world is consumed by consumerism. Our daily tasks are wrapped around what we must purchase next in order to keep pace with this ever speedy world. Whether it be food, petroleum, or the latest shoes [which were on sale of course], we are sold everything.

In 2009, the US Census bureau reported that $27.4 billion was spent during the holiday season alone [www.census.gov/retail]. That’s an alarming amount of money spent on “gifts” which are often given to “loved ones.” This concept of “gifts to loved ones” distorts our view of a lot of things. While there’s a sense of selflessness in the act itself, it remains selfish based on who you choose to give the gift to. When it’s family and close friends, we often use the act to propel us forward in the social sector, proving we’re capable of kindness, but only on a limited platform. As this concept works it’s way into our philosophy of life, our dilemma is mirrored: a limited, unspoken manifesto of selfishness and apathy. Gifts to the ones I want love from in return. Kindness to those who kindness is expected. A perfectly safe display of love.

From the Christian perspective, giving is, and always should be a selfless act. Christmas, then, is about giving back and expecting nothing in return. Taking the time to bake grandma’s secret recipe of cookies for the lonely elderly person I’ve never had the opportunity to meet, not for selfish gain, but selfless giving.

Though some will feel that Christians often get the idea selfless giving wrong by giving into the consumeristic market of Christmas, there is a retreating back to selfless giving. Many companies such as Living Water International [http://www.water.cc] or To Write Love on Her Arms [http://www.twloha.com] are running campaigns which provide opportunity for selfless giving during a season of gifts. Even local projects such as Salvation Army Christmas Kettles or Bread of Life Cornerstone are giving back unconditionally to our local community in Port Alberni.

If you find curiosity in this challenge, maybe consider setting $20 aside for someone you don’t know this holiday season. Show kindness by purchasing the gasoline of the person beside you at the gas station. But most importantly, make this holiday season about someone else. You might be surprised by the conversation that follows. May the joy of giving during the holiday season fill your homes!

Us...

2011-11-14T16:30:00.001-08:00

The earth is what we all have in common, it is what we are made of and what we live from, and we therefore cannot damage it without damaging those with whom we share it. But I believe it goes farther and deeper than that. There is an uncanny resemblance between our behavior toward each other and our behavior toward the earth. By some connection that we do not recognize, the willingness to exploit one becomes the willingness to exploit the other. The conditions and means of exploitation are likewise similar.Wendell Berry - The Unsettling of America 124

Stop Lights and Pulled Over

2011-11-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

"Total human control is just as impossible now as it ever was – or so the available evidence constrains one to believe. Nothing, for instance, could be more organize than one of our large cities, with its geometric streets, its numbered houses, its numbered citizens, its charted routes and zones, its great numbers of police and other functionaries charged to keep order – and yet nothing could be more chaotic than one of these same cities during rush hour or after dark or during a riot or a garbage collectors' strike. In the modern city, unprecedented organization and unprecedented disorder exist side by side; one could argue that they have a symbiotic relationship, that they feed and thrive upon each other. It is not difficult to think of any number of such examples in government, education, industry, medicine, agriculture – wherever the specialist has come with his controls...

Attempt at total control is an invitation to disorder. And the rule seems to be that the more rigid and exclusive is the specialist's boundary, and the stricture the control within it, the more disorder rages around it."

2011-10-17T13:17:00.000-07:00

"It is not sincerity, it is truth which frees us... To seek sincerity above all things is perhaps, at bottom, not to want to be transformed."

–Henri de Lubac

2011-10-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

Words are cheap.

--

It's extremely easy these days to access any sequence of words on the internet. Facebook alone provides us with hundreds, likely thousands of things to read. And by read, I clearly mean look at. And it worries me that words have become the same thing, a glimpse into someone's thought process simplified and amplified by a simple click, click, click of the keyboard.

What worries me about cheap words isn't actually the words themselves, I'm actually excited the intelligence of our world is ever increasing. But with our increased information are we compromising quality? By reading this post, if you weren't engaged within the first three or four lines, you likely move on to the next, and the next, and the billions after. The result is picking something I like fulfilling my desires, itching the scars of my calloused mind.

--

Music is more of the same. Use Lady Gaga for example. If your measure of her were based on technology, she would gladly acquire a 10 star rating. But, musically, there is nothing there. It's simply a exaggeration of carefully placed loops. Yes, there's an art form to that, and I will say that she is an artists, but by no accurate measure is she a musician, her main title.

--

My point is maybe this: today's North American culture is cheap.

We've spend decades building our empire, and now that we've gotten there, we all crave more because what we've built isn't something even relatively sustainable. It's merely a conglomeration of everything that failed to be a single unit, which is what we were trying to build.

--

There's a huge movement happening amongst the younger generations against this very thing, most of you have likely heard of it: Occupy. The movement is brilliant, and there are so many things that I agree with. In fact, there are tons of things that I agree with and would actually love joining the movement, once again tickling my imagination of things to do before I die.

--

Things like this are complicated. After having some conversations with some highly respected friends of mine, I was reassured as to what it is we must do. Yes, we can boycott these companies. Scream and holler until they somehow find a way to pay us off. But how is that any different from what they're already doing? We actually want change, right?

Well, change, as Wendell Berry would look at, is not something we turn to the big businesses to do on our behalf. Berry would argue that change begins with the locale. And true change, sustainable change, isn't something initiated by some global movement. It's as simple as meeting your neighbor and discovering what it is our local communities have to offer.

--

The complexity of this issue is deep, and this is where I'm torn. As much as I agree with this movement, and as much as I too would like to be heard, I think that true initiation of change is as simple as a few of the examples I stated above.

A lot of Berry's community ideas are drawn [in my personal opinion] from his Christian heritage. Though he's often a bit more reserved in mentioning it due to his attempt to include a wider class, true community that Berry often writes about is stemmed from Christian virtues and God centered lives.

--

A return to true, organic, and raw Spirituality is something I continually return to. I sense our world craving something better all the time, when it's right in front of us! The Bible has been around for how many years now, and yet we continually want to find our own way. Well, the Bible is so clear as to how we can revolt in this culture without creating wars. How are we revolutionizing if we're simply starting the new wars, resisting the others we're fighting against? What change are we truly making?

Well, if we'd like to Occupy, maybe we should simply occupy scripture, return if you will to the organics spelled out for us there.

I can tell you shit loads about theology and how we should do this and that, but your right, maybe I need to occupy...scripture.

You know, I just might...

--

Words from scripture aren't cheap.

2011-10-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge fan of hockey and one of my ultimate favorites of hockey will always be Red Wing coach Mike Babcock. The guy always seems calm, collected, and has big pieces of wisdom in everything he says. I couldn't help, after reading this quote, sharing it with others. It speaks of his integrity, and as a Christian leader, speaks directly to my person feelings on how church should look.

"I'm a big believer that the best CEOs in the country … their people move on and do things," Babcock said. "Some people stifle people and don't let them grow and there's no succession plan. I don't believe in that. I believe that not just for players, but for coaches, it speaks highly of your organization if people are growing and developing and moving on. I'm proud of it. I've got lots of guys who I've coached with who are coaches now. I'm proud of that fact. To me, that's what it's all about."

I believe this ALSO for Christian leadership. As leaders, we should always be bringing up new leaders, so they can bring up more leaders.

Thank you, NHL.com for the resource. Thank you Mike Babcock for your wisdom.

2011-09-12T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well I have been searching all of my days.
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I've been walking on
All of my days
And I've been trying to find
What's been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well I have been quietly standing in the shade
All of my days
Watch the sky breaking on the promise that we made
All of this rain
And I've been trying to find
What's been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well many a night I found myself with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it's just too bright
As the days keep turning into night

Now I see clearly
It's you I'm looking for
All of my days
Soon I'll smile
I know I'll feel this loneliness no more
All of my days
For I look around me
And it seems He found me
And it's coming into sight
As the days keep turning into night
As the days keep turning into night
And even breathing feels all right
Yes, even breathing feels all right
Now even breathing feels all right
It's even breathing
Feels all right

---

Alexi Murdoch – All of My Days

The Coffee Cools

2011-09-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

I have to apologize for my lack of posting lately. I have no excuses. Not that anyone cares or notices, but an apology in is order either way.

I had an unbelievable conversation with one of my fabulous youth yesterday. And through conversation we wrestled with this whole Christianity thing. Why do we do this? Who really cares?

In our conversation, as we explored and dove into this harmonious weigh of here and there, one of the things we went about is the lack of care for Christianity or anything of significance for that matter.

--

I think this is the primary obstacle in the way of students of the current generation. In a life surrounded by television, easy pornography, and the most exciting video games, who really has the time for such heavy questions? And the problem, at least in my evaluation, is that we come to conclusions without ever actually exploring. In questioning her, I realized that she didn't miss opportunities to share her faith, it's that she's never had those opportunities because those around her don't actually care to ask the questions.

What.do.we.do?

*Love*

Jesus' single most important command was to love, nothing more. And I think the thing we're to do is lead by example. If we want to have those tough questions, we have to ask them, but without aggression. As your friends what they think faith is. As them what they think prayer is. As them who they think God is. But not as a loaded question, as if looking down the barrel of a gun while asking, but pure love and curiosity. Surprisingly you'll find someone curious.

Instead of forcing it down, let the coffee cool a little before drinking it.

2011-08-09T12:18:00.000-07:00

Following Jesus is not to be romanticized through impressive Facebook status updates or photos of exotic places on our blog. Discipleship is often ugly, messy and painful. Faithful service will regularly lead us into dull labors and bewildering struggles that would make unexciting press. To romanticize social justice or cross-cultural evangelism is to promote an idealism that will be inevitably vaporized on the field, inadvertently leading to burnout and cynicism.

Regardless of our location, abroad or at home, all ministry is inescapably local. Every worker in a global context must embrace the monotonous minutiae of a new daily grind after the plane lands—figuring out the postal service, dealing with the cell phone company, conjugating verbs in the slow and tedious study of the language. If we cannot be faithful to do our statistics homework or collaborate with our coworkers, then we may lack the strength of character required for dealing with the meticulous annoyances of a more radical life beyond the romanticized horizon.

- Andrew Byers in "Relevant Magazine"

2011-08-03T16:52:00.001-07:00

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive"

- John Howard Thurman

Dear Ed,

2011-08-02T10:01:00.001-07:00

Dear Ed,

I dreamed that you and I were sent to Hell.
The place we went to was not fiery
or cold, was not Dante’s Hell or Milton’s,
but was, even so, as true a Hell as any.
It was a place unalterably public
in which crowds of people were rushing
in weary frenzy this way and that,
as when classes change in a university
or at quitting time in a city street,
except that this place was wider far
than we could see, and the crowd as large
as the place. In that crowd every one
was alone. Every one was hurrying.
Nobody was sitting down. Nobody
was standing around. All were rushing
so uniformly frantic, that to average them
would have stood them still. It was a place
deeply disturbed. We thought, you and I,
that we might get across and come out
on the other side, if we stayed together,
only if we stayed together. The other side
would be a clear day in a place we would know.
We joined hands and hurried along,
snatching each other through small openings
in the throng. But the place was full
of dire distractions, dire satisfactions.
We were torn apart, and I found you
breakfasting upon a huge fried egg.
I snatched you away: “Ed! Come on!”
And then, still susceptible, I met
a lady whose luster no hell could dim.
She took all my thought. But then,
in the midst of my delight, my fear
returned: “Oh! Damn it all! Where’s Ed?”
I fled, searching, and found you again.
We went on together. How this ended
I do not know. I woke before it could end.
But, old friend, I want to tell you
how fine it was, what a durable
nucleus of joy it gave my fright
to force that horrid way with you, how
heavenly, let us say, in spite of Hell.

P.S.
Do you want to know why
you were distracted by an egg, and I
by a beautiful lady? That’s Hell.

— Wendell Berry, from ‘Leavings

Creativity

2011-06-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

The other night, I was peacefully in bed, allowing my thoughts to carry me into the unknown abyss of sleep. As I drifted into sleep, my body had the sudden urge to urinate. Half in a doze, and half conscious I guided myself through the process of getting up from bed and making my way to the bathroom. As I guided myself, I noticed new corners, different color wall paint, and different lights, culminating with the wrong toilet. It was here I realized that I had imagined a different place of where to use the restroom [washroom in Canada], a place I had never even remotely been or experienced unless these memories were being drawn up from a well that I've long forgotten about.

I brought myself to full consciousness [that being about 63% of operating capacity] and found my way to the toilet. As I enjoyed the euphoric release of pressure from my bladder, I realized that we're all creative beings. As much as some of us want to deny it, we all have levels of creativity. This isn't something I struggle with, but I sometimes try to force my creativity: with song writing, blog writing, or other forms of creativity. But as I sat there, I understood that creativity is natural in every single one of us. Our dreams we have are often inexplicable. We look at a house that needs TLC and predict a home. We see a yard and envision a garden. All these little pieces.

But, we measure creativity by those who are best rehearsed at it: the "professional" bands; the "professional" painters; the "professional" teachers. When I reflect on this, I think the basic truth behind these artists is they're one of two things: a better practiced artist, or a better trained artists [a distinction hardly separable]. But a truth I continually discover in my work, home, and play is that each and every one of us is an artist. Wendell Berry says it perfectly by suggesting that we all must acknowledge and own the artist within us. And by owning it, we can begin to perfect it. By perfecting it, we can bring it back to the community as a service and a gift.

I don't disagree with levels of art; I hope I didn't suggest that. But, to discredit the young artist, the less experienced artist, the poor artist is not only rude, it's detrimental to who we are as a people. The world is full of beautiful people with beautiful gifts; we need different people with different gifts for the different areas of our different communities. I cannot provide everything for myself, but I can look around me and recognize that others around me have the same need. I'm so sick of this central thinking, self serving, individualistic society I'm a part of. But, I will not give up on it, I will not stand by and participate in it.

May our communities continually provide opportunity for every artist to participate.

25 Families

2011-06-01T13:43:00.000-07:00

Today marks the first day where 25 families will have awakened in an unfamiliar place: hotels with blank walls and beds with stiff mattresses. Yesterday, I awoke to a text message from one of my students informing me a building near by was a-blaze. Unsure what to expect, and honestly not anticipating anything of depth, I pulled the shades to a literal cloud of smoke. His text was valid, and the reality a stones throw away was even more valid.

Yesterday, a local building in Port Alberni went to battle against a fire that won without contest, destroying the homes of more than 25 families. It's easy to hear about something like this is a large city, it's even expected. But when a fire devastates an entire apartment complex in a small and more rural community, a sure mourning covers the entire people.

It's these moments where all barriers of who we are as people can so easily be removed. I think as a Christian, it's these very moments that display something we're constantly striving for as a God believing community. When someone's home is taken away by something such as fire, or wind, or water, or any other natural cause, human kind immediately reaches out and supports those people without hesitation or question. Clothes, used beds, dressers, toys, and so much more suddenly erupt from the woodwork as a community sympathizes for someone else's loss. And this is precisely what is meant by the "Church". This is a constant strive from the body of believers. Do we always do a great job of this? Absolutely not. Even maybe the opposite. But, there is a movement of sympathy, both locally and globally back to this organic community that is established by the perfect love of Christ.

So as this day of mourning continues, I pray for those people who have lost their home. But this day will pass, and my prayer is longer than just today. I hope as a Church we can continue to discover what it means to continually restore this broken world; as a community we can continue to live the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Loosers

2011-05-31T12:44:00.000-07:00

This post goes out to my friend Eben, who was a rescue from this very situation.

Lazy Day - Pt 2

2011-05-28T18:02:00.000-07:00

This is what one ought to do on a lazy Saturday:

Lazy Day

2011-05-28T11:31:00.000-07:00

It's a great day to be lazy.

I attempted to hold youth group, but only had one trooper show for duty. We grabbed coffee and pondered the challenges around that person, proceeded back to our dormitories and now I edit my blog.

I'm not entirely sure what the day holds. I've been wonderfully invited to two showcases of excitement this evening: one of which is a celebration of life, the other is a celebration of death. It sounds a bit twisted, but both are joyous occasions so be careful of the judgement you're eager to pass.

But for now I enjoy some lovely music, a freshly brewed cup of medium roasted direct trade coffee, and the bliss of my dog staring endlessly out the window while dreaming of running freely.

Community

2011-05-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

I recently finished a book by Wendell Berry called "Sex, Economy, Freedom, & Community." You can find a quote from the book below.

This isn't my first time muddling through this book seeing I read it over two years ago. But, I was quickly reminded why this is one of my top five books of all time.

Berry is a simple man with simple goals in life, living in a simple place with simple tools. He strongly believes in locality and community, and it's his passion for those two items that drives me to read his material. And it's in reading his material that I think he's precisely right on those two subjects.

The premise of his argument is that if we can restore locality and community [two he feels are inseparable] we will begin to restore pieces of brokenness that exist with in our economic, social, and political realms. I say pieces because I firmly believe that within all of our human trying, errors, and correcting that ultimately God must be the one to restore our human cycles. And it's within restoring these small pieces that, these local pieces, these communal pieces, that the larger pieces begin to find their place. And I think he's right in arguing this: by giving all the power to the biggest corporations, the richest people, all of ownership in anything is turned over to them.

But the issue is complex, because how does a person like myself visit farmer Joe and pay over twice the amount for a food product, a necessity to feed my family. But, this is the revolution that Berry suggests. And I say revolution because we've allowed the industrial technology to get in the drivers seat and dictate our lives. We must stand against this. We must put out BBQ's on our front porch.

It's a stab in the dark, but I think this book is almost prophetic in where our world is headed if we refuse to turn around and insist on big business. With out the little guy, the big guy dies too. Common little guys, let's support one another!

2011-05-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

Fleet Foxes newest album "Helplessness Blues" has been on non-stop playback since the moment I was privileged to pick it up this weekend. Fleet Foxes has always been one of those bands that will be played as my children grow older and begin to ask what music is good. And in an era when music can be created using a few mouse clicks and a key pad as a piano, this is a fairly righteous claim. So as you've found yourself on this page, you're privileged to get a sneak peek into an album I honestly feel that most people should desire to have if they insist on wholesome music.

Please, enjoy this song, support wonderful artists and musicians by heading to their website and purchasing the album.

Here's to good music.

Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues

Time to Make History

2011-05-19T18:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the May Long weekend. For my American weekend, just understand that this means a long weekend that in some sense starts on Friday, but in all senses doesn't end until Monday evening. For a large portion of locals, there's a lot of barbecuing and brewskies and memories stored in our long term banks.

But, for our youth group, this is a weekend of history. Each year on this long weekend, the Alberni Valley CRC Youth Group jumps in a convoy of vehicles to make the long awaited trip in anticipation of great music and great speakers. This weekend is meant to fill up the tanks of spirituality and boost us into another remarkable summer. So, I spend the last few hours before this life changing event asking God to do amazing things this weekend, things that change my perspective as their leader.

It's going to be an unbelievable experience once again.

Here's to May Long. Here's to making history. Here's to History Maker.

T-Minus 24:21:47......

Sex, Economy, Freedom, & Community

2011-05-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

What a fabulous book.

If we credit the Bible's description of the relationship between Creator and Creation, then we cannot deny the spiritual importance of our economic life. Then we must see how religious issues lead to issues of economy and how issues of economy lead to issues of art. By "art" I mean all the ways by which humans make the things they need. If we understand that no artist–no maker–can work except by reworking the words of Creation, then we see that by our work we reveal what we think of the wroks of God. How we take our lives from this world, how we work, what work we do, how well we use the materials we use, and what we do with them after we have used them–all these are questions of the highest and gravest religious significance. In answering them, we practice, or do not practice, our religion.

Canine Time - The Car Ride

2011-05-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

My dog is awesome! He knows a tonne of tricks, doesn't crap in the house, and confuses himself for a cat. He believes that his 40+ pound frame qualifies him for a lap dog and often sees me as the same species [which mostly annoys my lovely wife]. He's protective in a good way, but mostly a big wimp.

Now as cool as this dog is, there's something interesting you should know about him. He has an ultimate fear of the car! Any time you tell him you're going for a ride he gets really excited, and jumps around while his tail beats the air effortlessly. He cannot wait... until he sees the car. And it's this moment that his ears drop, his head drops, the tail falls, and foam forms around the corners of his mouth. It's seriously this bad.

It was in this moment the other day, of annoyance at his lack of cooperation and submission, that I wondered why he hated the car. As I accelerated through first, second, third gear effortlessly, I got a bit of understanding why he might hate the car.

He doesn't get it.
Read more »

2011-05-07T13:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,

I cannot be there to hold your hand tomorrow in church. I cannot be there to welcome you to the day with breakfast in bed. I cannot be there to annoy you as always, or react to your anger. I cannot be there. But I can write you this letter from a home away from home, so this I must do.

Thank you so much for who you are: compassionate, caring, worrisome, understanding, forgiving, graceful, dependable, committed, and above all loving. This list is only a hint of who you are, and displays even less my appreciation for you.

You are the woman who has taught me how to respect women. You are the the rock when it seemed the storm was going to blow our house over. You mean so much to me, us, my family, and it's future.

Thank you for being a brilliant example. Thank you for being my mother.

I love you, I love you, I love you. This is your day. Wear it with pride.

Your family and home away from home,

-Shane and Emma

This Sucks!

2011-05-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

I have to say I've really become a hockey fan. For those of you who want to take international stabs and blame my move to Canada on my love for hockey, forget it! It's simply because I'm into it.

But, tonight I'm grumpy because the Detroit Red Wings simply cannot find a way to beat these stupid Sharks. And it's making me mad! C'mon, Wings!

What is story?

2011-05-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

As a young adult, it's so easy to look back at our past a judge it. Maybe your judgement falls on monetary gain, but realistically it mostly relates to societal appreciation. And I find myself doing the very thing where I am now, pointing fingers at what is and suggesting what should be, though not really doing anything about it.

Oh the bliss.

But, I had an experience that I'd like to share with you. In this story we find a city that is wiped away because its inability to sustain itself.

It's in that moment of loss when we're forced to ask ourselves what matters in life. Is it really about the people that piss us off beyond belief? Is it really about the choices are family makes? Is it really about this house?

You might be able to answer those questions [and more] with simple answers. But the answers become more and more complicated when plausible, physical, abstract answers cease to exist. Sure, a picture can tell a thousand words, but the pictures in that box hidden deep within the other boxes cannot bring back that very moment we shared. The physical reality of community is something we take for granted, forgetting that one day we'll search these very archives of history for happiness.

Let the clouds hang low today. Let the rain drops wash the pavement. But don't take away this moment.

Ask Yourself..

2011-04-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

Am I proud of the life I'm living?

What have I tried this month?

What have I learned about God this year?

What parts of my childhood faith am I leaving behind, and what parts am I choosing to keep?

Do the people I chose to spend time with give me life, or make me feel small?

Is there any brokenness in my life that's keeping me from moving forward?

-Relevant Magazine, Issue 51 p. 53

2011-04-28T11:23:00.001-07:00

Knock, Knock!

Who's there?

Banana peels...

Banana peels who?

Banana peels an orange!

Courtesy of a three year old. Children are awesome!

2011-04-27T14:40:00.001-07:00

Life is comfortable when you separate yourself from people who are different from you. That epitomizes what our lives are like: characterized by comfort. But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.

-Francis Chan, Crazy Love

2011-04-25T11:50:00.001-07:00

I'm reading Lord of The Flies right now.

I hate to admit this, but I've never actually read this book. I took a class in high school that required me reading it, but what makes you think I actually did that?

So, I read it. It's a good read. Any other classics I need to start reading? Post them in the comments =)

2011-04-22T12:00:00.001-07:00

Thanks, Dad

Holidays

2011-04-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

It's probably the hardest part of living miles from you family: holidays. But, it's the holidays that makes this local family, our church, stand out.

When your surrounded by incredible people who are selflessly willing to welcome you for those few hours and say, "join our family," those are the moments that I'll take away from this venture. Those moments of unbelievable food you thought only kings would eat; of laughter and stories where you have no idea of the characters, but you can laugh and share in the embarrassment of the teller; of card games; of tight clothes because you've eaten to much and upset bellies because desert was appealing, even after the main course.

I'm continually discovering that it's the small things in life that help keep your head up, motivating your body another step forward: left, right, left. These tiny bits of history shape us, mold us, characterize who we are and what we desire. If we don't make the best of these moments, a piece of us could go missing and we might not have even realized it. And today, as I feverishly work to close out the weekend tasks so I can enjoy this wonderful celebration of Christ's resurrection, that one small thing is brilliant sunshine.

Here's to blue skies!

Continued Inspiration...

2011-04-20T12:16:00.001-07:00

http://vimeo.com/15965041

Maple Sap

2011-04-14T14:09:00.000-07:00

Maple Sap comes around this time of year. Well, to be honest, I think it's late February and early March. And, if you've ever made the attempt to fully watch one of these 5 gallon pales of maple sap fill, bless you.

As the saying goes, it's a rather slow process.

And such is my blog right now. I simply don't have the inspiration. I read great things, I think great things, but I just can't write great things. And, I'm one of those people that doesn't like doing things unless they're well done by me.

So I wait for the inspiration to come.

Soon? Please?

13

2011-03-28T13:17:00.000-07:00

When I was in 9th and 10th grade, I went to a really small Bible study from my church. There were never more than 10 people at our Bible study. Our Bible study was always very personal. We shared our darkest secrets and held each other accountable for our actions. In school. Outside school. Even devotions were called out.

I was 13. I was scared. I was excited. But most of all, I was forced to go. I didn’t think it was important to be there. But, my parents insisted and drove me week after week, making sure I was a frequent face. During the winter of my first year at this Bible study, our group took a winter retreat to a cabin in northern Ontario. The cabin was on a lake miles upon miles from any road, town, or resource. We were completely alone and undisturbed. It was during this trip that something happened to me that changed who I was as a Christian forever. During this trip, God transformed our group from a bunch of kids to a family that deeply cared for each other.

After this trip, a love for God sprouted in my heart. Bible study was no longer something I had to go to. Church was no longer something I had to go to. Youth Group was no longer something I had to go to. From that point forward, I was hooked and ready to talk about God. I was scared. I was excited. But most of all, I wasn’t forced to go. I finally understood “Crazy Love.”

Once we’re in love with God, it changes who we are and how we approach all things. It changes our prayer life. We no longer pray because we have to, we pray because we want to. We no longer go to church because we have to, we go to church because we want to. We no longer go to Ebenezer [our local high school Bible study] because we have to, but because we want to. All these different aspects of God that feel like things we ‘have’ to do, change and become thing we want to do.

Deep within me, I want to follow God and I'm so excited to do so.

An Average Day

2011-03-16T13:28:00.001-07:00

On the average day, we live caught up in ourselves. On the average day, we don’t consider God very much. On the average day, we forget that our life truly is a vapor. But there is nothing normal about today.

-Francis Chan "Crazy Love"

Stop God Shopping!

2011-03-10T15:50:00.000-08:00

Francis Chan, in his book "Crazy Love" starts his entire book with this sentence: "What if I said 'Stop praying'?"

Many of us, my self included, might get a bit concerned when first reading this sentence. We might even close the book at that point and consider it a failure. But, if you've started this book and stopped there, I encourage you to press on. Chan presses the issue by warning us to stop praying "at" God. What he's getting at is the concept that when we pray, we come to God with a sort of 'grocery list' assuming that this is what it means to pray. So we come to God and we ask him to do all these things. And, if he does them, somehow we'll be amazed.
Read more »

low fuel

2011-03-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

my apologies for not keeping you engaged as of recently. as i find myself in routine, it's a discipline to continually find the appropriate motivation to keep the writing skills flowing. not to mention, i've recently been working at gaining something known as article 23 in the crc denomination [which i did get]. part of that process is sermon work, and sermon work takes a lot of energy to be done well. so, i attribute some of my lack of writing here to driving those energies there.

long story short, i apologize if you anticipate writing from here. i don't naturally assume anyone does, but you never know. regardless, there's an all night event with my youth group tonight and i look forward to that!

Action Effect

2011-03-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

Check out this sweet video I made for our youth group.

2011-02-25T13:56:00.000-08:00

it's amazing what the sun can do to the human species. i sit indoors on a really cold and windy day. but through the wind and through the cold is this overly bright beam of light. no fog. no clouds. just rays of goodness.

and my goodness does it feel really good. i mean, REALLY good!

Article 23

2011-02-22T22:26:00.000-08:00

I working on something they call Article 23 in the CRC denomination.

This particular something is where they give me permission to do similar things which the Senior Pastor of our church does. Actually, I'll be given permission to do everything my Senior Pastor does, but only in my home church.

I'm excited. But, my eyes are sleepy right now, and I'm studying. Here's to college days....

And all of this of course comes while Emma's on spring break. Chum!

But she's lovely. And she deserves it of course!

yep...

2011-02-08T22:13:00.001-08:00

http://community.post-gazette.com/blogs/radicalmiddle/archive/2009/10/01/there-s-something-about-hockey.aspx

Home

2011-01-31T16:29:00.001-08:00

It's nice to go away, but it's always much nicer coming home..

looking through the groves

2011-01-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

i currently am perched in a corner. i am over stimulated. my coffee is to hot to drink. my wife's blog was amazing. i've just sat through a 1 hour seminar by brian doerksen. i want so badly to be impressed, but i'm not.

so, i break this disparity by people watching. i'm not sure how good of a habit this is or should be, but i always find it interesting. as i sat down, i interrupted a story
Read more »

2011-01-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

"i believe the sun has risen, not because i see it, but because by it i see everything else." -c.s. lewis

imagine trying to look directly at the sun in order to learn about it. you can't do it. it will burn out your retinas, ruining your capacity to take it in. a far better way to learn about the existence, power, and quality of the sun is to look at the world it shows you, to recognize how it sustains everything you see and enables you to see it. -timothy keller

to beat a dead horse

2011-01-23T12:32:00.000-08:00

please?

if i may:

science and religion is an argument i'll always be passionate about. is that possibly because the greatest challenge of my era has been those two strata: religious or scientific? and the battle goes on, but i'm starting to wonder something. it's been said time and time again, but writing things out help me work through them. it goes as follows for my current thought.

Read more »

Thursday Night on 2nd Ave

2011-01-19T13:59:00.000-08:00

It was a peaceful Thursday evening. The day had faded, and I was joining it. My eyes are starting to get that feeling of tired as I sit protected behind my computer screen. Emma sits just across the room, her eyes equally as focused as they are frustrated by the homework she is engulfed in. Eben happens to be sound asleep on the couch. Nothing but the sound of our cute little fireplace can be heard as I patiently wait for the clock to hit 11 pm, giving me permission to go to bed.

Suddenly, as if I had clicked my mouse ever to loudly, Eben's head comes to full attention like a marine in front of a drill Sargent; his ears alert and his hackles at full tilt. He rises from his sleeping slumber as if he weren't sleeping at all, marching a nervous pace around the room, stopping every five steps to listen for two seconds and continuing. He begins barking, growling, and continues pacing. Now, this isn't out of the ordinary, Eben likes the moon and believes it's meant to be barked at.

Because I'm mostly annoyed and was, up until now, enjoying the peace and quite, I invite Eben to join me on the love seat to peer out the window and notice that nothing's wrong. He often looks out our window to make sure the town is in order, as if he can do anything about it. But, as he arrives at the window where I hold the shade back for his view, he looses control and starts barking with such concern, even an ignorant person becomes aware. So I peek through the window, and flashing red and blue fill the street, blending to make purple on the buildings around. It's then that I notice it: a movement to the lower right at the base of our stairs into our yard.

The site of a person wasn't alarming due to the cop lights which accompanied the siting. In fact, I was confident that I had seen the person in uniform. I ask Emma to kindly escort Eben to his crate, and prepare myself for questions from the officer as I step onto the porch. As I open the door and step out into the cool, damp night, an eerie silence fills the air. The only thing I can hear is the melting snow, loosing it's battle to the cancerous temperatures. I am struck by what I see.

The light above me is young, being it was just turned on, but I can still see the man in front of me. I hold on tightly to the door knob because it's suddenly my only place of safety, almost like a childish game of hide and go seek.

The man in front of me is not a police officer.

Dressed in a hoodie and jeans, he is taller, 6' 2", Caucasian, skinny, and bent over catching his breath like a basketball player during the final timeout of a very close game. He is joined by a younger looking lady, much shorter, maybe 5' 8", and a bit more round in shape. Her arms are crossed as she stares at him with disdain and concern. He looks up from his bent position, his face has three distinct rivers of blood streaming from his right eye brow; they meet at one point, reminding me of how the Amazon joins for one final blow.

Not sure what to do, I ask "Is everything okay?"

He's equally as worried as me and throws back, "Yeah! We're fine! Just catching our breath."

I'm not convinced that everything's okay, so I dig deeper, "What's going on?"

Here, all filtration goes out the window: "I F***ed up her brother! I F***ed him up real good!"

"He didn't do anything" His girlfriend pleads with me, turning to him, "Keep your mouth shut!"

I notice that the door handle has warmed at this point, and rightly so as little droplets of sweat form in my palm because of the situation at hand. The hair on my arms stands, but not because of the climate, but because of the frightening affair I find myself at the center of. I invite the young man to sit out of pity and hope that he finds a bit of security from our yard. I turn to the door and can't wait to lock it behind me. His final question presents me with closure to the situation, "You have a smoke?" Knowing perfectly what to do, I inform him I don't smoke and retreat to my barracks where my wife has already dialed 9-1-1.

We inform the RCMP that the person they are in pursuit of happens to be in our yard. The police are quickly in their vehicles to catch up with the man who has departed through our yard, but the head start isn't enough. They ask us a few questions, but return to their squad cars to continue the chase.

It's sad to see a world retort to violence because words cannot provide the diplomacy needed for situations. As I felt the fear coming from this man, I also felt sympathy because he flees on foot. He is scared. He's scared of the response of the man he just beat up, the response of the police officers looking for him, and he's not sure what the future looks like. His control of life has just flipped. And the worst part is, he probably doesn't even cognitively know this. I really do hope the man was okay and I really hope that his situation gets better. But if I'm honest about the situation, it's likely a vicious circle he'll never escape.

inspiration

2011-01-06T23:24:00.001-08:00

often we hear devastating stories. stories of death and destruction. police this and military that.

and media loves this.

but, i recently heard a pretty cool story. it's likely a lot of us have heard the same story, but if not you should check it out:

ted williams

shorter

2011-01-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

hair.

as in, i got a hair cut.

all is quiet on the western front

2011-01-01T12:05:00.001-08:00

after 7 days of bliss, stories, and great beer, a period of mourning and silence has found it's way into our home. today marks the new year, a year marked by these traits: emphasized 10 fold in the past seven days. it was a fabulous year, but it marks the dawn of a new day.

it was a great week, spending it with emma's family as we embraced christmas and heralded the new year. it was a great experience for her parents to come to our place of abandonment, miles from what was once home. but now, only the sound of keyboard keys and dog snores fill this room as we mourn, once again, the parting of family as they return to their familiar routines and responsibilities.

and life can be just that: a roller coaster of highs and lows, progressions and regressions, acknowledgments and shames. but, this week was filled with laughter, happiness, and best of all memories. these will be stories i share with children years from now, stories that get me through the lows, regressions, and shames. i am glad to have experienced them, and i take them into this new day, this new week, this new month, this new year.

here's to you, 2011.

and thank you–2010.

it's gonna be a bright sun shiny day

2010-12-30T12:49:00.000-08:00

the fog might be an often cover on this island, but when it lifts, it's spectacular.

music give away

2010-12-22T15:57:00.000-08:00

for those of you who like well rehearsed music, you might find interest in a musician by the name of joe pug. in one of my earliest blogs, i posted a song of his which speaks of his journey to understand the history of his father, but wider: his life. this man is one of the most careful i know with his words.

today, i receive an invitation to give away his music. there are a few options. if you prefer hard copies, you ought to check here but if your an itunes junkie, go here.

yellow lights and empty mason jars

2010-12-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

these are the delicacies which comfort me this damp, cool winters eve. christmas cheer still visits the atmosphere and melodies of familiarity join in.

it's been a lovely day. we spent the day with some lovely friends of ours, encouraging once again our exploration of the island we want so badly to call home. englishman river falls would be a spectacular reason for anyone to come visit us. as the sound of water poured over the bedrock which exposed itself today, i was once again awestruck at the still unfamiliar beauty of this place. cold fingertips and bitter moods were washed away on this 5 minute visit of nature. her essence: penetrating us with solemn beauty, waking our sleeping souls, and weakening our heart fortresses.

i am brought to humility by the simplicity and refrains of rushing water.

i've found a fossil

2010-12-08T10:45:00.000-08:00

have you ever taken a stroll through fog?

i have a love hate relationship with the fog. first, i must inform you there happens to be oodles and oodles of fog in the valley where i live, so fog is a must, and always. but, fog can really help us learn a bit about our lives.

a while back i was reading through the book 'surprised by hope.' you might find a few quotes and other comments about this book below. but, the other day i was revisiting this book i my head and i started to ponder fog.

it's definitely a frustrating thing, fog. that early morning walk through the woods seems ever so peaceful, but the trail: i can only trust it continues forward. the fragrance of pine hangs in the air, the songs of birds make sonnets for our ears, but the fog seems to restrict my foresight. the cool air of the morning keeps perspiration to a minimum, but the walk is still work, hard work. my lips are a bit chapped and i remember that i've left the chap stick at home after slightly tasting the last bit of artificial cherry. and it's here that my dependence is on the trail. i trust, out of pure hope, that the trail will not lead us astray or direct us to various dangerous routes. so we enter the hike knowing this full well, trusting this. we don't know precisely where the trail might lead, but we know it will take us somewhere and we must be on careful watch, as to not miss any of our surroundings.

and this is our path. we've chosen it, we hike it, and we refuse to look back. parts of the hike are steady inclines. others, we face steep hills with concern as to how were going to climb them. finally the down hill we've worked so hard to enjoy as we allow our feet to pick up a quicker pace, even to a narrow jog as we accelerate. but never do we plateau. we stop to drink water. we stop to catch our breath. but never do we find flat ground.

and so the fog hides our future. i've discovered that life is often quite similar to this fog. we may hope that we can see bits and pieces of the trail ahead, but the roots of the trees around us still catch our occasional step off guard and we stumble. we stumble, but we don't fall. one foot in front of the next. striving. the fog, hiding a remarkable story full of surprises beauty. but, if we refuse to take the hike, to leave the main road which we've used the 88 ford bronco to get us here, if we stay in the vehicle and don't step out on faith, we might miss the walk completely. a walk remembered is only a walk taken.

and so i've reached the end of my hike, the water of this lake so peaceful. and, i think i see the sun breaking through!

december 4 twentyten

2010-12-04T22:22:00.000-08:00

there comes a time in our journey where we cross over into a patterned order of life, consumed by routines and people to please. none of us can specifically deny or define the transition, and an admission to it is, i fear, the only way of combat against it. for by admitting we have schedules, we can recognize creative ways to keep them from becoming monotonous and mundane.

as i wrestle with this, i recognize that one of the things that never seems to slip into the normality around here is the scenery. i am always amazed by the mountains i get to be surrounded by: majestic and strong. i can simply stand behind the thin pane of glass that distorts her figure so slightly with my black coffee and allow the memories to soak in. these are the simple pleasures i endure. enjoy =)

the view from our couch in our living room

it warmed me to see this photo, so maybe it should you to? maybe not

in it for the long haul

a steady incline

2010-12-02T14:53:00.001-08:00

so i'm reading 'the reason for god' by tim keller. actually, i just opened it and am about four paragraphs in and one of the statistics in the book deals with the steady decline of 'christianity' in north america. as i read the sentence, epiphany struck with fierce compassion once again. hate it when that happens.

regardless, i have a reflection to make upon the issue. i don't disagree that religion is on a decline. quite often, the posture of the culture surrounding us can even reflect this. our values; our morals; even our priorities. i promise you, rest is currently not a priority that it once was. we must go, go, go. we forget to pace ourselves.

but, do simple statistical numbers reflect the consensus of decline? as i make an attempt to compare our current culture to a century ago, i wishfully think that our culture is exceedingly defining itself in terms of his or her own conditions; post postmodernism. whatever that means. . .

my point is this: not only do we define ourselves more freely, we do so more boldly, fervently, intellectually, and unfortunately with no reverence to any but ourselves.

to what result?

as the 2008 elections came into swing, i made the decision to post my absentee ballot. i would move to make an opposing decision at my current stage in life, but that discussion is for another time. as i went to post my absentee ballot, my grandmother informed my that, 'you shouldn't vote for those democrats. any of them. they've all got evil agenda's.' bless my lovely grandmother, in her wrinkled skin and squabbling opinions. unfortunately, i had done my research, and her opinion didn't waiver my decision. and having done my research, i was confident i didn't approve of another war hungry president which left mccain out to dry. but, this story directs our discussion to a perfect example she was raised in: a conservative opinion, left or right.

today's day is much more welcoming to discovering your own path, even encouraged. as i begin to discover my own path, i no longer consider myself the conservative right wing my parents have become, far from it. but my grandmother views this entirely different: her voice the ultimate, to 'respect my elders.' the mood appears negative here, but i do respect my grandmother, she makes darn good cinnamon rolls! alright, on a serious note, she's lovely and has immense wisdom, but this was not by any means helpful.

what is helpful in today's culture is expanding and explaining the why behind our decisions. sure, it sounds political, but time and time again i've discovered the response can no longer be of the famous nike slogan 'just do it.' my nephew went through a stage at age three which made my little world so much bigger [as a grown up].

i would tell him, 'sit while you eat' and his response was 'why?'
i would tell him, 'walk carefully when crossing ice' and he would respond 'why?'
i would tell him 'hold the railing when going down stairs' and he would respond 'why?'

our society is no longer black and white size 10 air jordan nike's. it's full of vibrant color. ownership; discovery; passion. one century ago, the vibrant color was fundamental, defined by logic. but, it's no longer fundamental; it's no longer an equation. will we embrace the color or do we prefer the black and white equations?

so we discover ourselves in the decline of 'christianity' in america. but i ponder: is it merely a steady incline of self definition? is it ownership and boldness in who we really are?

winter sonnets and colorful bulbs

2010-12-01T12:26:00.000-08:00

the season of christmas.

i often feel as christians this season is somewhat paradoxical for some of us. we want to tell stories of jesus, and how spectacular he is, and how excited we are about his birth, and how he's the 'real meaning of christmas', and, and, and... but, being consumed by the western front, we get sucked into the bigger, better gifts under the tree singing about rudolf and santa clause.

hear me out, i love singing along with the classic christmas tunes. but, the other day i was listening to the song 'santa clause is coming to town' and there are lines in that song which conflict directly with my beliefs. "he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. he knows if you've been good or bad, so be good for goodness sake." i thought, after hearing those lines, if the rest of the world could understand jesus as clearly as they understand who santa is, we'd be making some major progress in this on going kingdom front.

granted, jesus isn't as black and white, or in this case red and white like mr. clause, but his message is better. it's more than knowing if we've been good or bad, it's more than knowing when we're sleeping. jesus calls us from our sleep to awaken to the world around us, to 'smell the roses' if you will. jesus doesn't simply care if we've been good or bad, he wants the best for us; he wants us to know love so well that we can't help being good.

so why do we know santa better? why do we know who santa's helpers [the elves] are? why do we know how the gifts are delivered?

or further

why don't we know christ better? do we recognize the kingdom workers? are we delivering the gifts like we should be?

there is great reward in being part of the ongoing kingdom work, a reward no worldly wisdom can explain. christmas season has many resonators of the kingdom work: giving, loving, quality family time, slowing down. but it shouldn't be represented by santa.

seriously, the dude's over weight!

a holiday's atmosphere

2010-11-28T23:14:00.000-08:00

i'm enjoying the sound of christmas music as my lovely wife, emma, hums along and bakes wonderful things.

her creativity never ceases to amaze me and i am so delighted to be a part of her story!

things have been so well on the western front. we were blessed with the presence of many friends last night for a celebration of my 24th birthday. it was a great evening full of laughter, yummy eats, and memories etched in the files of my life's history. we eagerly anticipate the friendships that are blessing us and growing right now.

on to bed and dreams!

2010-11-18T15:46:00.000-08:00

i'm enjoying a listen to josh garrels right now. this man has been influential to my perspective of music. once a person involved in the norms of mainstream rock, my journey from point a to point b has been quite interesting. most thanks goes to my wife. not only in music, but the many other boundaries she's shattered in her teaching of a child often difficult to edify.

but, here my entry flows from these finger tips.

writing is an interesting thing. i'm not sure how i came about doing it, but i continue to strive for something better. never do i sit down and think to myself 'this ones going to be good.' sure, i have a perspective on what might be said, but its the movements of these joints that do all the work.

i have to apologize for my inconsistency with this blog. the corruption of activity has been superior in my life as of late. truth be told, it feels spectacular to sit, catch my breath, and actually put together a blog entry. i hate business. i truly do. that's not to say i hate what i do, but i do hate being so caught up in what i do that i forget who i am. that being said, i like where i'm headed and who i'm becoming.

who i'm becoming. ha! this might be humorous to some: i opened a book for study with my senior pastor: the four pages of a sermon. preaching! bah! who would have thought that by taking a position in a land far, far away that i'd be taking center stage at the work going on in this fairytale. but, i take one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, left then right, following a god who controls the whole cosmos.

i just pray he creates out of this chaos i've made.

concerning the church

2010-11-16T14:42:00.000-08:00

it seems that i read a lot of headlines these days which have in their title some sort of frustration with the church. am i simply ignorant, or can i justify my frustration with titles like this? sure, i dont mind admitting that the church has taken some wrong directions, and i can even emphasize a few points of things she's done incorrectly. but, as a whole, i think the church is still a good thing.

i just find it insulting to take over 2,000 years of history and disregard it in an article or a book, or even a life only lived 75 years [25 are spent learning to live. so even if you do make 100...]

i just can't keep accepting these insults thrown at me, and more importantly the bride of christ, as something to be disregarded.

so PLEASE stop insulting the church. church is a good thing. accountability is a good thing. doctrine is a good thing. theology is a good thing. pastors are good things. church goers are actually good people. maybe my experience is merely miraculous then?

fasting

2010-11-10T12:48:00.001-08:00

today i embark on a journey. i find it sad that i even have to say that it's a journey i must embark on. what's even worse is that i have to discipline myself away from it.

so PEACE OUT facebook

new home

2010-11-09T16:13:00.000-08:00

this is our new residence. we made the decision to move to a house and these are a few pictures for you to see =)

our door is always open if anyone would like to visit

dinner at the rozeveld's will take place here.

this is the smaller of two of these here. emma has always dreamed of clawfoot bathtubs and now she has them. aren't i a spectacular husband?

the other day eben was running through the yard and i could hear him saying [without any sound] a yard! he loves it!

that place over on second avenue. take a right at the light, head two blocks, then a left. first place on the right. 3214. come on over!

pieces of a mysterious puzzle

2010-11-09T14:57:00.000-08:00

one of the best memories i encapsulate from college is summer evenings on our porch while living in grand rapids on innes street. here, the aromas of hops and tobacco leaves fill the air, but much less than the laughter that joins them. it nearly brings me to tears.

i'm currently working on a bible study based from paul's letter to the corinthians in chapter 12 where he's talking about all the different pieces of the body. as a break, i write this blog. and often when i ponder what to write about or where to head with a blog entry, i think back to these days spent discovering. granted, these days are only a few years young, but what i find so exciting and so fascinating is how each of us has grown up. our stories look so similar, but ever so distinct.

one of the best friends from this group is currently spending his time on the opposing side of the world. there, he learns the diversity of god's love, a slower pace foreign to western context, and the importance of good shoes [the dude walks everywhere].

friend number two has pick up her small amount of belongings and headed across lake mitten to the opposite side. her home, brought into existence because of her responsibility to studies, is established by a different culture. her process is learning the diversity of god's love, accelerated learning and growth, and exciting friendships that deepen understanding.

my roommates, who i miss dearly, have also embarked on journeys of routine, taking head on the work force as they continue to unfold the responsibilities they'll one day have.

you may read those three examples and say person a, or b, or c is headed towards the best success. while i find those arguments appealing, and often find myself passing that judgment, this passage gives us a stern warning that we've missed it entirely. person a is just as important as person b who is just as important as person c who remains equal to person a. we're all a part of this body and the truth is, we all have a role to play.

i often evaluate other people's stories and ponder the beauty of their story, envious that it isn't mine. but, the reality is, it is mine. and my story is theirs. and their stories are each others. we're all an vital part of what god's doing in this world, not only in our local lives, but in the global context of his ongoing work and kingdom. these best friends of mine may be in different and diverse settings, but what i'm coming to realize through their experiences is that we're all a part of a fascinating story unfolding for all of us! the work they do, the work i do, the work we all do is all for a purpose and that purpose is a good purpose. i can't wait to see what the next chapter is, for all of us!

another visitation on community

2010-11-08T10:52:00.000-08:00

i'm a rather passionate guy about community. it's a central part of what i believe religiously, not to mention a thing i crave daily. i love my family [a nice shout to emma and eben!] locally and globally [this one's to mom and dad at home - yes, in-laws too].

but, my ideals of community have always been fantasy driven. i'm currently reading a book by dietrich bonhoeffer called 'life together: the classical exploration of christian community.' as i established above, this book naturally falls into my hands.

as i sit down and work through the few pages this book offers, i find myself disturbed. i'm disturbed by a reality that bonhoeffer presents, but it's a reality i'm reluctant to accept, although truthfully i think he's correct.

bonhoeffer offers that true community, one vulnerable and transparent to one another is a community that comes with struggle. he writes it like this:

by sheer grace, god will not permit us to live even for a brief period in a dream world. he does not abandon us to those rapturous experiences and lofty moods that come over us like a dream. god is not a god of the emotions but the god of truth. only that fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in god's sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that it has given to it. the sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to an individual and to a community, the better for both. a community which cannot bear and cannot survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping its illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of christian community. sooner or later it will collapse. every human wish dream that is injected into the christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. he who loves his dream of a community more that the christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.

when i first read this quote, i found myself nodding in agreement and thinking, 'man that's good stuff.' but as i paced myself, and re-read the quote [an often occurrence in this book] i found a haunting truth about something i'm a central part of. we think community is this joyous occasion filled with a sense of awe and amazement. while those things can and do exist, what bonhoeffer suggests here is extremely important: reality points to us that genuine community hurts.

pain and suffering will make or break you, always. when living in true community, we have a decision to make: accept pain as gain or deny the reality in which we participate in.

the best example i can draw here comes from our experience in family. think to your brothers, sisters, parents, wife, kids, or if family is missing, your best friends. although you have fights and disagreements, this true community would do anything for each other. i may walk away from an argument with my wife entirely disgusted, but the truth is: if that same moment someone entered the room with anticipation of hurting her, he'd have to get through me first.

pure love and pure community must taste pain to endure.

everything is spiritual

2010-10-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

if you haven't watched the movie 'everything is spiritual' by rob bell i would encourage your interest to be piqued by it.

this beautiful piece of science and faith does well to try to bring peace to an argument that's been breached by personal agendas and goals. the gap is indeed so wide that having a healthy discussion on the topic at all can be gruesome, quarrelsome, and by all means painful.

but, his presentation of both is not only artistic, but brilliant. it is a much longer movie than our current youtube hits of 3 minutes [which seems to stretch the attention span of some], but i shared this movie with my youth group not to long ago and even their interest was held for the full 80 minutes.

and to fit with current culture, my recent philosophy for all things positive has been this: 'try it, i dare you!'

oh the beauty of peer pressure =)

hidden treasures

2010-10-23T22:37:00.000-07:00

i often write in this blog entries that require brain work. i do that for a few different reasons.

1) if i'm going to post something for someone to read, it may as well be worth their time. therefore, i accept that challenge and strive to do my best when writing. not every post is good, but i like to hope that some are.

2) quite often you will discover that the things i'm writing about are actually a few of the things i'm wrestling through myself. because i tend to think through things best as i write/speak them, this blog helps me understand what's in this head of mine.

3) hopefully it challenges you.

but tonight, i'm simply excited and i want to share that with others.

emma and i are about to make arrangements for our third move. yes, we are moving. it's not a far move, not as dramatic as the last two, but its a third move none the less. we've decided to rent a home from a friend of ours. this means: yard, claw foot bathtubs, office, another office, a room for visitors [the more the merrier], space, cupboards, basement, garden, bills, pantry.

as we embark on another journey, my anticipation and excitement is ecstatic! we're both really excited.

so, this journey away from home takes a journey itself.

a constant reminder

2010-10-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

the tides are changing. a heated season parts from us, and a new, fresh, cool, and rainy season approaches.

i want to tell myself "your not one to talk about the weather." but the truth is, i am. i love weather. i love clouds. i love lightning. i love rain. i hate wind [except in the form of tornadoes]. all of it. i love it. it's fascinating to me.

i once worked with a man while doing construction. for those of you who've worked construction, you won't be shocked to discover that a certain few of these workers aren't always the brightest. i found myself along side a person such as that. alcohol had become a dependence for this man, and the ability of logic, processing, and even social cues are slowly disintegrated to my own personal, internal humor. i am only allowed to say this because i loved this man and i highly respected him for his work ethic and loyalty to the few who actually gave him opportunity, a chance to make right what he'd worked so hard to destroy.

this man, simple.

as a storm blew in one day, we stood at the edge of our current project. the sweat built heavy on each of our brows, condensing and running in beads down our temples, dirty enough to draw shapes like rivers. a moment shared time and time again, but this one stuck. we looked across the hay field, fresh in windrows, moisture still bleeding from the recently cut stalks, at a cloud storming its way toward us. this wasn't any storm cloud, it came with strength, assertiveness, an argument no man would have disagreed with.

it was in this moment i looked sideways to my friend, surprised to find him in such deep thought. hoping to humor myself, i said, "amazing. isn't it?" his response, i expected, was to be shallow, thoughtless, possibly a defensive blast back from him. what i received, i will never forget.

"you know shane, it's the things like weather that constantly remind me that god is in control. man always wants to have all of it, but its his way of saying to us 'this place is still mine.'"

so shocked by his response, i stood there speechless. he laughed his original laugh, turned his back, lit another cigarette, ready to return to the labor we had before us.

this man, simple.

2010-10-18T11:03:00.001-07:00

The writing of the stories of our lives is done only a little by ourselves, mostly by other people, by what happens to us, but ultimately by God. It is the affluent who most easily forget this. People living on the edge of destitution are naturally aware of how dependent they are on what happens to them. But the seduction of wealth is the illusion it gives us of control over our lives.

- Richard Bauckham

2010-10-17T15:31:00.000-07:00

one of the primary laws of human life is that you become like what you worship; what's more, you reflect what you worship not only back to the object itself but also outward to the world around. those who worship money increasingly define themselves in terms of it and increasingly treat other people as creditors, debtors, partners, or customers rather than as human beings. those who worship sex define themselves in terms of it and increasingly treat other people as actual or potential sexual objects. those who worship power define themselves in terms of it and treat other people as either collaborators, competitors, or pawns. these and many other forms of idolatry combine in a thousand ways, all of them damaging to the image bearing quality of the people concerned and of those lives they touch.

-n.t. wright. surprised by hope [p. 182]

time

2010-10-15T00:27:00.000-07:00

it seems that every so often we try to wrap our minds around the concept of time. sure, this might be something we participate in, willingly or unwillingly, but every so often, i try to step back and understand this concept.

it's so straight forward. quite literally.

one moment: here, now gone. it can be seen even within this post. even within your reading –> you've maybe spent 20 seconds on this post, myself one minute writing it, but none the less - history.

past.

gone.

never to be repeated.

and this is what breaks my mind into pieces.

my memory allows me to live within that history, within that memory.

we think time is merely one dimentional, but i'm questioning if it is? i do think that time only moves forward, and i do think that we can only experience times forward movement, presently, but is all her past lost?

if we can recall memories, and experience them: through smell; through sight; through touch; through taste; through sight, is time merely a single dimension?

writers block

2010-10-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

i'm not exactly a writer, but i've definitely had a block of inspiration lately.

waiting for it to come, trusting for his guidance.

On Technology

2010-10-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

When we approach the recent issue of technology, our immediate reaction is to stir frustration because our love for computers.

Technology is a facinating thing. Technology is beneficial in many different aspects. But, is technology benefiting us as much as we hoped?

Here are two opposing articles you can read and wrestle with to make a decision for yourself. Enjoy!

Is Facebook Killing Our Souls? Shane Hipps

Why Social Media Is Good For Us Caleb Gardner

2010-09-30T16:33:00.000-07:00

the tragically neglected truth about christianity is it calls us to be radically different from the world.

-brett mccracken in relevant magazine [issue 47, p. 43]

it's a constant

2010-09-27T14:28:00.001-07:00

life goes forward. fast. and sometimes at paces we can't keep. these past few weeks have been that pace: one foot stumbling in front of the other.

it's a good thing, i promise. but, this blog suffers because of it. today is a day of rest, but tomorrow reminds me of my responsibilities.

just so you know where i'm at =)

2010-09-21T11:40:00.001-07:00

this quote has been coming around and around lately, so i thought i'd share it with everyone.

"when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

jimi hendrix

on the fall

2010-09-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

the lover, in obedience to a quite uncalculating impulse, which may be full of good will as well as of desire and need not to be forgetful of god, embraces his beloved, and then, quite innocently, experiences a thrill of sexual pleasure; but the second embrace maybe have that pleasure in view, may be a means to an end, may be the first downward step towards the state of regarding a fellow creature as a thing, as a machine to be used for his please. thus the bloom of innocence, the element of obedience and the readiness to take what comes is rubbed off every activity. -c.s. lewis "the problem of pain"

i'd like to say that reading this quote was rather reassuring, a lack of disturbance to my inner world. at first glance, i might feel that way: content and unrattled as a stone that's never felt the quake of our earth. but, after writing it and reading it, my heart becomes the stone and the epicenter of the earthquake is the blood pumping through her valves. this should knock us over, destroy our very being. allow me to explain.

innocence can often be seen in a child. ask a child what his or her perception of a river is, boundaries and all, and you will discover a interesting conclusion. often, it is one of simplicity and entertainment, but of beauty none the less. what the answer isn't is one of complexity: h2o molecules combined with the pull of gravity ordered by the shape of the earth and inhabited by the different species of fish and amphibians. even this expanded answer remains one of simplicity, but much more complex than a child could comprehend.

innocence is a beautiful thing, often a thing i crave. but, as the quote above points out, it's something that is taken away moment by moment through the things of my experience. the more i experience, the less innocent i become. a question i often ask people that are above me within my role is this: "do you think that becoming more knowledgeable takes away your innocence." what frightens me is the answer is often yes. it's not the answer of yes that worries me, it's the excitement and willingness to surrender our innocence that becomes worrisome. i understand that wisdom is derived from experience, and apart from experience wisdom ceases to exist. what i don't understand is the comfort in quickly exchanging our innocence for the market of wisdom. while i think wisdom is a wonderful thing, something few truly acquire, we often see it as an end, and not as a means into something more, something bigger; we sell our innocence to the love of knowledge in hopes to acquire wisdom.

if giving up our innocence summons our gift of wisdom, then surely this innocent question bears no consequence: "did god really say: 'you must not eat from any tree in the garden?'"

this raises a question for some: can the fall of man be attributed to the giving up of our innocence and taking that first bite into the knowledge of good and evil? as fair as this argument may sound, even in my own existence, there's a lack of acknowledgment to the situation at hand: we have fallen. "it must always be remembered that when we talk of what might have happened, of contingencies outside the whole actuality, we do not really know what we are talking about." we're so quick to want to understand how, why, where, or what, that we forget the innocence of the situation: we have fallen. therefore, we have a need.

On Temptation

2010-09-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

I write with the assumption that most of us have seen a river. Big, small, wide, narrow, shallow or deep, we’ve experienced one on some level. I’m sure some of us have stood at its edge and admired the strength of her current. Take account the beauty of the water. Notice the sound of the wind above her? Do you sense the roots beneath your feet of the trees around you, reaching downward and drinking in her life in an attempt to give life to the others around her?

Surrounded by Life, our eye catches movement on the other side. A glance, though only a glance, gives us the desire to know more, to have. My pride and selfishness desires information, as if to fulfill my destiny and complete my diagram.

I must cross.

Standing at the edge of a river is often a paradox we’re so quickly to ignore. With our current intelligence, ability to problem solve, and a bit of ignorant bravery to our surroundings, we set to the task of finding a way across. Whether it’s by boat, falling a tree, or building a bridge, our boundaries are limitless.

I find with my life, these same principles have leaked in, invading like an army and taking away my innocence to the morally correct I once knew. My justification is, therefore, violated and taken away by an obese culture, numb to indulgence and perversion. Just as I would process crossing the river, when temptation approaches my life, the river banks that were once there are now merely a stepping stone to the other side, where the grass is always greener.

I fear this temptation is relevant for most of my readers. The truth is, we desire the other side, and often we find ways to get to it. But the problem I discover is that through my process of crossing her current, seemingly peaceful and welcoming, I am brutally and mercilessly tossed amongst her tide headed in a single direction: downstream. At one point out of harms way on her shores, I find myself confused, worried, and in a great deal of trouble as I tumble rock to rock because of her power.

The sound of a song bird awakens me from my day dream, confirming that I need to rethink the possibility of complete freedom from all the things I “consider good.” Instead of giving into the desire to justify the crossing of the river, I must be drawn to The Well: “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in the true righteousness and holiness.” [Ephesians 4:22-24]

Therefore, we must sometimes recognize the boundaries God has set in our lives. We must be willing to acknowledge the glance, but allow it to pass. Our desire to know more, have more, and be more is merely something which has been created by a sub culture I like to think of as media. Where do you think our problem of anorexia comes from? Definitely not my Grandma’s cooking. Where do you think the problem of complexion comes from? Definitely not from our biological make-up which provides the lovely “Volcanoes” as my wife likes to call them.

Our quest to have all and be all frequently results in a loneliness many other cultures don't experience. I would dare to argue in our consumption of everything, we've found nothing but loneliness in itself. This rigorous circle spirals down into a pit so dark we confuse our escape and become trapped deep within. Joe Pug adds a perspective: "They say I come with less than I should rightfully posses. I say: The more I buy the more I'm bought. The more I'm bought the less I cost." This isn't an argument of consumerism, rather one of the temptations our society battles with.

We must be willing to stand at the rivers edge and admire her beauty. Our desire to cross her and acquire the complete picture will lead to our destruction, pain, and possibly death. I will not stop you from jumping into her cool water. But, standing at her banks and recognizing her boundary is maybe what we’re meant to do.

on depression

2010-09-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

this is something i may never understand, ever.

recently in this town, there was heart breaking news that a boy in grade 8 managed to work up the courage and strength to commit suicide. that's correct, grade 8 and pills.

this is really tragic to me. it breaks my heart to see a kid in a place of complete hopelessness running to an alternative that can't be reversed. taking your life, ending it, is a one way street for anyone but christ [who wouldn't have taken his life]. but this poor, dear child saw this as the only escape to his world.

who can we blame for this? school? parents? siblings? baxter [the drug company]? i think we can make an arguable case for any of those people. but in reality, there shouldn't be blame placed anywhere. the situation is done, past. this child is gone, not to return.

we must, must step forward into a new light. we must understand that there is hope. there is something that can give us the support that we need. there are people out there who genuinely care about each other and not because we want you to be something or someone, but for the sake of caring.

but, this is why i will never understand depression. i struggled with depression when i was in grade 11. it was something that surprised my whole family and sent me spiraling down a road i hope to never find again. i hated everything around me. my family. my friends. my school. my church. my pills. i hated it all and struggled with the same temptations this kid did. but somehow, by mere grace, i was pulled from the pit. but, at the time, i desired no answers, no hope. i desired to be accepted, for who i was, not for who i was supposed to be. when i received that hope, i found new light.

this is the gospel message at her root: love, love, love. when questioned on the best of all commandments, christ answers with love. if you follow the example of his life, you will learn complete, humble, unceasing and unconditional love. it's a love we can only receive from this community of believers we're a part of. it's a pretty righteous claim to make, but i'll stand behind it.

2010-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

"If we will not learn to eat the only food that the universe grows–the only food that any possible universe ever can grow–the we must starve eternally."

-C.S. Lewis The Problem of Pain [p. 047]

everything relative

2010-09-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

ray lamontagne. computer keys. cloudy skies. hot mocha [with caramel of course]. irresistable revolution. mon petit choux. atmosphere.

these are the things which invite may day abroad. and it's wonderful. this song brings me back to a celebration with my fantastic wife, emma. love you. what a day it was.

onto this inspirational book. i need a sweater!

john 15:1-17

2010-09-04T17:59:00.000-07:00

there's new blood running through these veins after reading this passage. i don't know where this comes from, but i often get this feeling that at some point the gospel will get stale, stop being transformative, and less influential. for those that read that and freak out. . . . i think transparency in our lives puts reality to who we are as people and therefore defines me human. as we know, none of us are gods..

this is the verse that speaks about being part of the vine of god. it is a vine that is pruned regularly and produces "fruit that will last." and the reason that this speaks to me is that i feel like god has finally done some pruning in my life. i've finally caught wind of what god wants me to do. this has come with a lot of pruning. this has come with what the following section of john 15 talks about: "if the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first."

in most of the directions i've ventured in life, i've always questioned if those directions were for god. but suddenly, in the chaos, calm is created. this point i've come to is the most peaceful place i've ever been. and in the calamity, there's disturbance about my surroundings. what can we be doing better? where can we focus our resources better? where can we make god's work better known?

out of this chaos, something is created. i'm born into fruitfulness. i am part of the vine and fruit will be made. maybe not now, but it's coming. i promise.

2010-08-31T11:55:00.000-07:00

"I don't want to be another superstar Christian whom a lot of people yell at or ask to sign their T-shirts. If I am awesome, we have a problem. Either folks are being set up for disappointment, or they have not yet caught a glimpse of God. Only God is awesome."

-Shane Claiborne The Irresistible Revolution

a century of change

2010-08-25T15:49:00.001-07:00

it's interesting to look back over the past century to see the changes.

i'm into a book by andrew root called "revisiting relational youth ministry." honestly, the title could remove the word youth, but it's focus is purposeful.

technology has changed our days so fast i'm not even sure how we are to respond. the current year is 2010. for a second think back to 1910. then 1810. and 1710. finally 1610. only two thousand years ago was this current calendar put into place. with a general sweep of those two thousand years, there has been a fairly consistent trend of nation rising, nation falling dominance. improve our tools, standard of life, but as a general scope, no dramatic change.

then something different happened.

oil.

motors.

steel refinery.

and finally - technology.

do i think this is a bad thing? no. in fact, it's simplified, and possibly made my life possible. the advances in medicine may have even made my life possible. but retracing history, the sweep from a labor driven culture to a intellect driven culture is fierce. never, ever before has there been such an explosive change. i mean, the first computer was developed in the 1940's. less than 75 years ago technology hit the scene. now, everything thing "work" related has to do with my computer. this very blog is only read by you because of the use of technology. again, this isn't a bad thing, but it's revolutionary. earning this very expensive "tool" was done in a technologically driven environment.

so as i've been awakened to the fact of such drastic change, i wrestle with my own basic premise. this is all a normality to me. computers, intelligence, internet. but, is this access to knowledge and technology breaking down our society? is the fast pace culture wearing our bones thin, creating new wrinkles on our foreheads?

i love the knowledge i have. i love the access to information. there is benefit.

but..

where's our substance?
where is is the depth?
where is the wisdom?

anyone?

sunsets and mountain tops

2010-08-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

some of our best moments come by surprise. the person in the picture is currently one of my best friends; i have 17 more. on being brought here, i was nervous for what god had planned. but i find myself in the middle of the story, wanting to name it and describe it for everyone. but the truth is, i can't. i don't want to. i'm only part of it.

last week a few of these good friends and i spent some time above the clouds. there came this moment in all the excitement where a few of us sat on down on the edge we were so marveled back. the conversation before this point was intense, filled with revolution by the things our eyes were interpreting: its so easy to forget. as we sat, the conversation faded, our hearts fell humble, and we soaked it in. we soaked in it. this moment, unsharable by any other, untouchable by the outside world, hovering in front of us and beautiful. the shadows on the smaller mountains below grew and the rays of sunlight were projected perfect to display the majesty of it.

this moment, the moment of silence, was surrounded by perfection. in knew in that moment that something was correct and this was exactly where i was supposed to be. i can't wait for more experiences similar to the one i had last week.

so push me up into the skyline, high enough to feel you breath
surround me ever so completely, because you are everything i need
-mike mains & the branches

something is in place perfectly.

blessings to all

Deep Church

2010-08-19T18:46:00.000-07:00

leaping onto horizons is a scary thing. moving one foot in front of the other, i feel god pulling me forward. i sense his leadership, inspiration, and reconciliation in the things i’ve begun in this place.

i’ve been reading a fair bit on the emergent church lately. for those who’ve been following this blog, maybe you’ve been hearing some of the emergent tones coming through. if you haven’t heard of the emergent church, i’ll make a minute attempt at describing my perception of what it’s motivation and goals are.

emergent people are a group of passionate individuals who’ve been hurt or burdened by the institution of the church. they’ve either participated in or been part of one, and have deep scars from the things she has done wrong. their reaction to this hurt, anger, and distrust is a rebellion. they deconstruct her, casting her aside, with distaste for any organization. the result is a movement back to what the “acts church movement” was thought to look like: house churches; strong emphasis on community support; personal interest in surrounding culture; individual growth and locomotion.

in fear of being forgotten because of the emergent movement,, the “tradition church,” if you will, pushes back with strong arms. she is more rooted in her history, holding tight to modes and forms that have been in practice for hundreds, sometimes thousands of years. a more structured and conservative form takes place: set times and locations for worship; structure to what must take place; goals from sermons; plans. often run under a structure that is held accountable by denominations that carefully discuss and plan her direction.

as i wrestle through this conversation, because i find myself in the middle of it, we can easily see a tension. the organic draw of the emergent church has wonderful tones: the call for the church to scatter outward from her walls, discontent with peace; deeper community resulting in closer family; awareness of the culture around it. but, in the same breadth, the traditional church has important pleas: a historical past [as to not repeat it]; a unified conversation [joined direction]; accountability.

in a book by jim belcher, he attempts to unpack something in between and titles it the “deep church.”

i am caught in between, and am comfortable with this ambiguity. it allows me to learn from both the traditional church and the emerging church as i follow a different route–the deep church.

deep church, according to belcher, takes both conversations into effect. although we hear great criticism from the emerging camps, we find concern in her ability to reconstruct. although the traditional church has been locked into a mode for a considerable amount of time, her traditions are rooted and purposeful. i will not make an attempt to unpack this book here. i will make an attempt to suggest it though. this book can be helpful for a lot of people that stand in the middle of the tension and cannot understand how to feel about the subject.

if you don’t find any interest in reading this book, hear my heart on one thing: it’s time to open our ears to the argument. sure, both sides may be doing things wrong, but to deny their is a tension all together is pure arrogance. we must come together with one voice, unifying each other to avoid another split within her walls. in an attempt to make the kingdom visible to a continually diverse culture, we must join hands and step forward together. both are in the wrong. both are in the right. together, we can be stronger than ever before–the deep church.

planning

2010-08-17T22:35:00.001-07:00

as much of a free bird as i am, i've been planning for this fall.

it feels strange.

but great. pray for blessings to these youth!

as simple as coffee

2010-08-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

being stewards of this place isn't always an easy task. in fact, the more i try to take care of the things i've been blessed with, the more i realize that the task at hand is large; bigger than capability by my own hand. i feel that by god's grace i'm able to do the things i'm trusted with, but only by his grace.

one of the things i try to be careful with is making smart choices with the food i eat, including the coffee i drink. coffee is one of north america's greatest addictions. for those coffee drinkers out there like myself to deny it is simply arrogance. one report states american's consume more than 400 million cups of coffee each and every day. over a period of a year, that statistic comes to over 146 billion cups in a year, billion [coffeestatistics.com]...

another report suggests that in 1999 americans spent $9.2 billion dollars on coffee [cofferesearch.org]. with the current surge of starbucks, tim hortons, and many other chain coffee shops, my suggestion is this number is significantly higher. therefore, what are we to do with coffee?

i love coffee. in fact, in most every one of my blogs, i sit down with a cup of coffee and put my mind and fingers to work. i love coffee. i am a consumer of coffee. i think coffee is a great thing, but i also find myself responsible; i am a steward. i am stuck with this tension of giving a damn about where my coffee is coming from. if i had the most clear choice, growing coffee on my own would definitely be the option, but my environment does not provide that. in fact, my coffee has to come from thousands of miles away.

i choose a route of direct trade. direct trade coffee is developed from making direct contact with the farmers and purchasing coffee from those very specific people. this process eliminates the middle man that's typically found in "fair trade" coffee. although the wages are better in the fair trade industry, there is still someone in the middle negotiating the price. the result? injustice.

with direct trade, i not only know where my coffee comes from, i actually pay a significant less amount for it. finding a direct trade is not easy. in fact, you have to ask around to actually find one because it's merely knowing someone who knows someone to hook you up. this has brought peace to me knowing that the person whom i've purchased this cup of coffee from is being paid well and right forth for making me a great dark and organic roast.

it's as simple as a cup of coffee. or as complex.

-------------------------------

if you care to know more, ask your locals for a direct trade sponsor. i use relationship coffee as my avenue, but its availability is not, surprising, universal.

looking ahead

2010-08-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

i'm beginning to convince myself that looking backwards, maybe more importantly dwelling backwards, is not something we should put our energy towards.

but, this weekend was a weekend of pondering; a weekend of reflection. emma and i had the privilege to celebrate one year of marriage yesterday, and the day before a 5 year anniversary of dating.

i know one year doesn't seem like a whole lot of time, but i guarantee it was an amazing year:
- interviewed in california
- did an internship in virginia [that was a sweet drive]
- prepared a wedding
- got married
- moved to grand rapids
- got a job as a sales representative
- dreaded emma's hair
- found a position opening for a church on the opposite side of the continent
- went for an interview and actually got the job [don't ask how, just accept it]
- prepared ourselves for a move 2700 miles away
- moved to port alberni bc
- bought a car
- got eben [our dog]
- started my new position
- flew back to michigan for ethan and shannon's amazing wedding

these are a few of the big steps we decided to take this past year. the blessings that have flown in are numerous. emma and i have both agreed that being married and being together and taking these adventures have been so fantastic, scary, challenging, but rewarding all in the same stroke.

i am blessed beyond blessing with an amazing wife. she has made this year better than it would have been without her. our relationship grows daily and i'm without words strong enough to thank her!

right or wrong

2010-08-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

there seems to be this question familiar among people of any place. in fact, i think the question itself distinguishes humans from the remainder of creation. what's right? what's wrong? who's to say what's right is right?

let's use an analogy that does no justice to the issue at hand. start by gaining understanding that a full bed of piano keys consists of 88 keys. these keys consist of individual notes representing individual values up and down the entire musical scale. in fact, most music you hear every day uses the piano as its foundation. i hope that understanding this hasn't been transformational.

so, with these independent notes on the piano, we can combine them to make beautiful melodies. a certain combination of notes played strategically up and down the piano makes a sound pleasing to the ear. but, say you find yourself in the key of c major and suddenly play an f#, and to be dramatic, an f# chord. most people, trained ear or not, will notice something uncomfortable. sure, it's based on a consistent 'normality' established by the [musical] culture around us, but surely the note will stand skewed from its brothers.

so to bring this back to right and wrong, what inspired the note [the f#] on the keyboard or piano to play? where did the instinct for that particular key to play come from? surely the key itself didn't play the note? surely the piano didn't mysteriously break at a particular time and particular place within the score and play the note? did our fingers come up with the instinct to play the wrong note? if our fingers came up with the instinct, where did their inspiration come from?

you may be thinking at this point, sure this is only relative to the surroundings and defining right and wrong is simply relevant to our surroundings. with the analogy used, yes that conclusion is fair. in fact, to take this analogy and introduce it to a culture that finds this type of progression of notes [suddenly including the f#] familiar will find the note pleasing and satisfactory. but leave the note out within that culture and the reaction is the same: something is wrong, out of place.

therefore, thinking through all of this, i discover that some sort of rule, some sort of law is behind music. if there is some sort of law behind music, there must also be some sort of unspoken governing elsewhere. what is right and wrong is not simply particular to place and time. if you look back over humanity with broad strokes, you will find that, at a basic level, all humanity has followed the same general law without much waiver. to me, something much bigger directs the natural law given to us. in fact, someone who has humanity's best interest in mind is in charge.

i know my ear can tell a difference between right and wrong, but then again, who's to say my ear was right?

story revisited

2010-07-28T18:25:00.000-07:00

i remarked two posts back that i would have to revisit the concept of story once i grasped what donald miller was truly after. and now that i've nearly completed the book, i think i understand what he's been after. it's nothing profound like you might find in "blue like jazz" but it's definitely something that i'd like to talk about.

"a million miles in a thousand years" is definitely not the kick back and read in a day book you would expect from miller. but his book unpacks the concept of story.

the concept of story is one that has taken me a bit to grasp. the truth is, we're all part of a story. we're all living, breathing, experiencing, and doing on some sort of level. whether our story is thrilling, scary, or boring, we're all part of something happening. it's a progression that we can't resist or opt out of either; we're simply part of it.

the reason this book has been good is because it's opened my eyes to what's going on in my life. i sometimes feel a million miles away from my own past story. just this afternoon i was on a drive home from a place only 60 miles away, but i was looking around and creating this narrative in my head about how much i'd love to show my family the place i live. the magical mountains that reach toward the sky all around me, holding onto their snow months into the summer, grasping at it like the light of day. how much i'd love to point to one of them and say to them, "i live just over that one" and see the look on their face and the excitement as we drive slowly along the curvature of the hills below. then suddenly, at her base with excitement call her by name, "mount arrowsmith" as if i'm leading a tour and being paid well for it. and as i fade from my day dream, back to the sound of my echo roaring down the road, i miss my family. the happiness and content both my parents have, their story continuing and mine beginning; the past remaining, the present awakening.

and this is precisely the point which hits me: i'm part of a story. the title of this very blog is "a continuing story" and this book has really helped open my eyes to the story i'm engulfed in. if the earth were to suddenly stop, reverse spin and move backwards would the shadows from these mountains reverse. in reality yes, but time has a way of throwing it all in your face. it continues like the changing of each tide, never ceasing, but relentless in her persistence. and as real as time moves forward, my story moves forward.

therefore, the question is begging, loudly, harshly: are you going to live an interesting story? is your story going to be good enough to tell a story about your story? i'm challenged to jump, to make my story interesting, recognizably different, to make it reportable.

this is my continuing story. . .

building the story line

2010-07-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

"this is the thing you'll realize when you organize your life into the structure of story. you'll get a taste for one story and then want another, and then another, and the stories will build until you're living a kind of epic of risk and reward, and the whole thing will be molding you into the actual character whose roles you've been playing. and once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can't go back to being normal; you can't go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time."

-donald miller–a million miles in a thousand years

book

2010-07-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

i'm reading donald millers new book right now "a million miles." two points of honesty at this point: 1) i'm not entirely captured and 2) i'm only half way done.

but, he does write an interesting point in which i'd like to make. he's drawing on the concept that we're all part of a story. and in this book, he's been asked to be a part of a movie, and in movies, if the story isn't interesting, then the movie sucks. he uses quite a few analogies from familiar movies how the story is actually way more complex than it seems on a surface level. as he continues to unpack his story, he makes the point that if we don't make our stories interesting, then we'll simply look back and wonder what was so interesting about our lives.

i think this is a very important part of the book to remember. we often think we're doing such fantastic things in our life and taking such initiative, but in reality most of us, myself included, go to work, do our task, and return home exhausted from another days work.

but life is more about work. yes, pay your bills, but we need to not forget that we were intended to be integrated into a bigger story, and not just our own.

i don't know how to explain whats in my head right now. these words don't seem to line up with my thoughts, and it's possible because i haven't completed them or fully understood them. but the truth is that i'm moved, yet again, to continue to become closer with the community around me. i've been working on this lately and i've meet some incredible people with some incredible stories, but there are so many more to go. instead of continuing to dream my story, i hope that i continue to live it as well....

sorry, this blog is all over. i will complete this thought. i promise. just not right now....

sunlit horizon

2010-07-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

if you scroll a blog or two, you'll notice that one of my comments was that god has plans on the horizon that i can't see or predict.

this morning a bit of light appeared over the horizon. worship was simplistic; three of us: piano, guitar, voice. the songs familiar. the teaching simplistic, story like, understandable.

i am blown away by a god so faithful, so true. in my prayer before the meeting i asked god to surprise us by his spirit, to fill the place with so much joy and happiness that even the faint of heart felt it. and did he even surprise us! people left with smiles and tears, celebration and lamentation, movement forward. i asked god to surprise and he did so. i mean, even before the conversation began, people were joyous to be there, conversation that took a few shouts to silence. community is in this place and i get to be part of it!

how fantastic. . .

typewriters

2010-07-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

are cool.

and emma bought one today. for real cheap. and i'm stoked.

expect letters!

a day in paradise

2010-07-23T23:30:00.001-07:00

you know you live in an incredible place when you can check the boxes for the following items.

_X_ wake up to snow capped mountains

_X_ see a bald eagle

_X_ see a black bear

_X_ swim in a lake up in the snow capped mountains

_X_ spend an entire day with your wife

_X_ hear some creepy sound throughout the majority of the day that sounded like a baby cougar [call it wishful thinking, but we're 75% sure about this!]

i'm totally blessed....

adventure

2010-07-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

we're off to see the wizard!

okay, maybe we're not headed down a yellow brick road, but we are going to a new place today. 40 minutes into the back country to a place of hidden treasures.

nahmint here we come!